No, it’s not my cat. She will have hers in April. I just like pictures of cats so I put one in here :) No, it’s actually me! And I’m turning 30 today! Can you believe that? I certainly cannot. My mental age doesn’t go further than 13-14 years old and yet here we go, I’m crossing that scary line.
I used to dislike my birthdays. But really, you can’t blame me! Starting from the first birthday party I remember (which was when I was 8 I think) there were all kinds of nasty things going on. Like one girl threw a toy at another girl and hurt her eye. Or like someone spreading rumours about me behind my back. Or it was just awkward and boring: a bunch of people sitting at a table, eating, drinking and then having problems communicating. Was it me or was there something wrong with January, 31?
Anyway, since I decided I was not that much of a people person anyway things got considerably better :) Now I just don’t do birthday parties, no one is injured and everybody’s happy, including me :) And now I love this day because I get to pamper myself and do whatever I want, guilt-free style. My inner critic shuts up for 24 hours. Wonderful!
The only thing that I still find sad is that with each birthday I realize time is passing by. I don’t normally pay attention to that. I do today. How many years have I still got? Will I be able to do everything I planned before I die? Will there be something good left after I’m gone? These are the questions that worry me. Because when I think about my dreams, I often put them aside saying “I still have enough time, now I need to concentrate on other things”. But the problem is, I don’t have that much time… so I should really do my best to use it fully.
But anyway… Happy Birthday, Ania! :-)