I have to get away from the Internet for a bit (I think about 7-10 days or so), so I just wanted to let you know – if I am not commenting on your posts, it’s not because I don’t care, it’s because I’m temporarily away.
I’m not really sure what I currently have, it’s either chronic fatigue, or depression, or maybe both. I don’t feel like doing anything but lying in my bed and crying. Ten minutes from my house to the bus station seem like eternity, and I have difficulty breathing and feel like fainting after a five-minute walk. I sleep all the time, and when I don’t, I just feel so tired I can’t make myself move from my bed.
Which is why I decided to put all of my activities off until sometime in the future when I get better, and concentrate on trying to do something about my health. It’s not like I managed to accomplish much anyway, my to-do lists lie there all unticked, and beating myself for it only made me feel worse.
So I’m taking a short break from life :) and ordering some herbal stimulants, and going to the doctor, and trying my best to do the very minimum that has to be done: wake up, go to work, not fall asleep at work, cook, eat and wash some clothes so that I have something to wear.
If it were not for my boyfriend, I probably wouldn’t make it to the office today – the idea of drowning myself in a bathtub seemed much more appealing. But it’s really amazing how much someone’s support, help and belief can cheer you up.
(Yes, yes, that was a hint – I want to be cheered up, I really do! :))
See you soon!
Your slightly depressed Ania.