A (hopefully) short break

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I have to get away from the Internet for a bit (I think about 7-10 days or so), so I just wanted to let you know – if I am not commenting on your posts, it’s not because I don’t care, it’s because I’m temporarily away.

I’m not really sure what I currently have, it’s either chronic fatigue, or depression, or maybe both. I don’t feel like doing anything but lying in my bed and crying.  Ten minutes from my house to the bus station seem like eternity, and I have difficulty breathing and feel like fainting after a five-minute walk. I sleep all the time, and when I don’t, I just feel so tired I can’t make myself move from my bed.

Which is why I decided to put all of my activities off until sometime in the future when I get better, and concentrate on trying to do something about my health. It’s not like I managed to accomplish much anyway, my to-do lists lie there all unticked, and beating myself for it only made me feel worse.

So I’m taking a short break from life :) and ordering some herbal stimulants, and going to the doctor, and trying my best to do the very minimum that has to be done: wake up, go to work, not fall asleep at work, cook, eat and wash some clothes so that I have something to wear.

If it were not for my boyfriend, I probably wouldn’t make it to the office today – the idea of drowning myself in a bathtub seemed much more appealing. But it’s really amazing how much someone’s support, help and belief can cheer you up.

(Yes, yes, that was a hint – I want to be cheered up, I really do! :))

See you soon!

Your slightly depressed Ania.

What to do when I want to do everything??

busy

Actually, this is a title of one the books on my to-read list. On my priority to-read list. Because that’s the question I’m asking myself more and more often, as I have more and more hobbies, and more and more projects yet unfortunately still only 24 hours a day minus 8 hours of sleep minus 8 hours of work minus 2 hours of commuting. That leaves me with 6 hours but then there’s shopping, cooking, browsing silly Internet sites and other important stuff.

Help??

I want to write. And I want to draw. And to read. And I also love talking to my boyfriend and cuddling with my cat. And I need time to enjoy my board games, and my computer games, and my android games. And also to learn, improve and polish my English, French, Spanish, Italian and Dutch, to say nothing of my new project – German – which I’m planning to take on next year (don’t ask me where I will squeeze it in because I really don’t know).  I miss DIY, knitting and embroidering. I want to make jewellery. I want to take up pottery, photography and salsa. I want to put on colourful make-up each morning. I want to meet my friends as often as possible. I want to learn to dance, and to sing. I like baking too. And I enjoy doing crosswords and sudoku too much to cut them out of my schedule. Same goes for reading magazines, studying self-help books, writing my diary, trying new recipes, watching films, listening to music and a hundred other things I either already like or am willing to try and like.

My problem is – I can’t do it all at the same time. And I can’t plan my time well enough to include everything I want into it. I tend to be lazy and procrastinate but even when I’m my organizational-best-self, I still can never – ever! – cross out everything I have in my organizer. This is getting frustrating. I have so many ideas but never enough time to do everything I want. And every little thing takes up more time than I initially thought it would, and once again I’m behind my schedule (yes, I do have a kind of a yearly/monthly/weekly schedule which is frankly no use at the moment).

How much time would it take you to start a new notebook for writing new foreign words in it? I’ve already spent 3 hours on that, and I’m not even half done. Because first I had to think of a good classification, then I had to decorate it, then I started to copy the words from my old notebook, and right now I’m only done with Spanish and Dutch, and the worst is yet to come (ie English – I have collected an enormous amount of new words during the last year).

And my ebooks?? Several hours of renaming the files so that they all had identical structure, and then putting them neatly into the right folders, and then dilligently copying the names and the authors into my goodreads list.

I think I’m stuck with details whereas I need to see the big picture. Make drawings instead of spending two hours on the Internet choosing new art supplies. Read books instead of classifying them. Learn the words instead of just putting them down.

Have you ever had this kind of problem? Any advice?

Weird smells, mmm :)

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I got tagged by the lovely lifeofbun, and now I must tell you just how weird I am :) or rather, what weird smells I like.

So…

1. Exhaust fumes.

Yes, I know. Don’t say anything. And let me get this straight – I don’t go around, trying to get a whiff of some exhaust pipe ;) But I don’t mind at all if some car goes by. No, not at all.

2. Chalk.

I love the way chalk smells! Oh, I could eat it! Mmmm. (Do I lack some minerals or something? :))

3. Soil after the rain.

If somebody doesn’t like that, then it’s them who are weird, not me.

4. Dusty books.

Ah, the paper! The mystery! The excitement! My grandmother’s attic filled with treasures and old bookshops filled with gems. Lo-ve-ly.

Hey, if anyone is brave enough to come out and confess their favourite weird smells, I’ll be happy to read all about it!

My brand new (used) netbook :)

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Lovely, isn’t it?

I bought it so that I couldn’t have any excuses not to write anymore. Normally I always said to myself “Well, I cannot write on this computer – I play on it! I’d be too distracted” or “I cannot write here in this cafe because I would have to do it with a pen, and my hand would hurt, and… well, if only I had a netbook, that would be different but I don’t have it, so…” And now I do have it, and I’m going to install all kinds of writing software on it, like Scrivener or Dramatica or NewNovelist and so on.

Now I have no excuses. Must write, draw and learn languages every day (or at least aim to do so :)).

As for the netbook… it’s an old model of Lenovo ThinkPad S10-3S. I hate to think it was made in China but well, I did buy it second-hand and saved it from death, so my conscience is more or less clear. It’s small, weighs about 1kg, has 250 Gb to store stuff, has comfortable keyboard but is a bit too noisy for my taste. The most important thing of all: it’s white. I don’t like black, and most of modern gadgets are black for some reason. I really wanted to have a pink one (aaaah, dreams) but there are no so many used pink netbooks I’m afraid :(

All in all, I’m quite happy with my purchase

Cron-O-Meter: a good way to see what you really eat

I’m trying to lose some weight, so I’ve been tracking my daily food intake for the whole two weeks! Yay! :)

However, doing it in my journal, albeit especially designed for that purpose and quite motivational, is not really the best way to do it.

It’s heavy. I have to take it everywhere with me. It doesn’t say anything about what I eat – is it good, bad or average. Ok, I do have some ideas – piece of whole-grain rye bread is probably better than a milk chocolate bar. But how much fat does each contain? Are there any vitamins? Am I missing something?

That’s how I came to a conclusion that I need an online food tracker. And I found one. And it’s really, really good (and free).

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It’s called Cron-O-Meter (http://cronometer.com) and it shows pretty much everything: how many calories, vitamins, minerals, proteins etc your food contains. Their food database is pretty impressive, and after you have inserted your food, you get the analysis right away:

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(this is just a piece of the whole, the picture was too big so I had to cut it :))

After 3 days of tracking I already know I lack protein, don’t drink enough fluids, and have too many fats.

Will work on improving.

Have a look, and check your own menu!

Visual DNA: a fun personality test

I proudly present my result:

harmonizer

You can take the test here:

https://personality.visualdna.com

It’s supposed to help businesses target you better.  I have to say – they are not bad at it. Their guesses were quite good – many of the books they’ve suggested as “matching my profile” were those I had already read and enjoyed. And some of those I’m willing to try.

And even if books are not your thing, the test is fun :)